February 2020 – Musings from the Manse

And snow it goes…

Snow days can be isolating for some. Much of today I felt wrapped in a love undefinable. The smells from the kitchen reminded me of all that I have: food, shelter from the storm, power that keeps the stove running and warmth radiating throughout the house.

This house is a home. It is home. Home is where I find refuge, I’m nourished, and I’m cared for.

But, there is more. Here, in this place, tonight, I find the grace to be me. A person filled with God’s love ready to rest in the arms of the Holy for one more night. I know deep inside that joy does come with the dawn. Each new day brings its own blessings, lessons, and surprises.

And snow it goes…I’m feeling a little melancholy. Enjoy the song. Count your blessings.

With a song in my heart

What a wonderful morning. The sun shines brightly, the blue jays are active, and on the surface everything seems fine. However, visual cues are not always a reflection of what’s in a heart.

A smile, a laugh or giggle may seem normal and positive but the under-current, what lies beneath can prove to be tumultuous. The waves of emotion that come and go with grief, sorrow, and sadness can be set aside for short periods of time but without the healing the grieving brings that grief can surface unbidden.

I believe that Sabbath time can help each one of us to re-connect with the Holy and with our faith. A few moments throughout the day focusing on gratitude, acknowledging the pain, then moving through that pain to a depth of faith that lifts us out of the valley. Of course those times may be very short and few, far between but with each moment we can be brought closer to the Divine.

How do I live through these times? With a song in my heart. Sometimes a song of faith to lift me up or a sad song to help me feel the depth of despair.

Here’s one of my “go-to” songs:

What song is in your heart today?

Many blessings to you on this the day that has been given to us.

The big question

The question I’m most often asked is “are you still happy here?” The here is in the Denbigh area and serving the local Pastoral Charge. Both Nick and I feel at home in Denbigh. We like the hills, lakes, and being away from the noise and traffic of the city. The people are caring and kind.

Small communities are close knit. I’m still learning where people live and who is related to whom. A family is created even if none exist.

The downside of living here is being on the eastern side of Toronto with much of the family living on the west side. The distance can be tough but not impossible.

There’s a test of faith that goes along with both sides of this coin. As a Minister there are boundaries that need to be maintained. Having a sense of what’s appropriate when I share from my personal life and when to phrase things in vague ways which can become very important in small communities.

Faith is tested too when you wish you were closer to the family; grandchildren and loved ones.

Where faith fails, doubt creeps in. Perhaps this is a normal part of living or aging. Preparing for meetings and weekly worship services I find myself digging deeper for answers and a sense of peace that comes from searching for the quiet centre.

How do you identify your faith? Does your faith grow during times of sorrow, fatigue, or uncertainty?